For-Profit Prisms

On the tail of the incredible success of The People v. OJ Simpson, FX is announcing a new spinoff series: THE KARDASHIANS SAW THAT. It will feature the Kardashian children from FX's OJ anthology magically being transported through time to watch things on television.

No, they're not watching you, but it feels like that, and that's all that matters.

Evelyn Croissant-Badnotes, Senior VP of Programming for the FX network, says the show will stay true to its source material. "We know that people love seeing the Kardashian brood watching things as children, and we don't want to stray too far from a formula that obviously works. Each week, we will introduce a memorable event in history, and we will watch the Kardashian's watch that. Will they at some point spell their name aloud and chant it into the seemingly non-existent ears of an old rear-projection television? Of course they will. It's a crucial part of each week's plotline."

While some bloggers and twittiots who operate strictly on the fringes of acceptable critique-- let's call them haters-- may think the show's central premise is gimmicky, and can't possibly sustain the 36 episodes that have already been greenlit, Croissant-Badnotes disagrees. "These people are thinking too small. It's not just Kris with Kim and Khloe and Kylie and Kayla and Krayola and Kristaps sitting around watching television. It is our moments becoming their moments. And it's not just limited to events in their lifetime. It's the moon landing, my god, can you imagine? What did Kim have to say when we first landed on the moon?! I get ratings bumps just thinking of it. And it's not even just things that were televised, what did Khloe think of the Salem witch trials? As the darker, edgier, Kardashian, did she side with the witches? That's what people want to know. It's appointment television. Actually, appointment isn't the right word. It's prescription television. It's what people need to get through the week. Life is hard, and lonely, and we need guidance. The Kardashians are the high priests at the altar of existence. We all see the stars, but don't know why they shine so brightly until we see them reflecting off of little Krayola's eyes."

If you think this is cool, imagine what happens when they look at each other.

FX has already found a place in its late 2016 lineup for THE KARDASHIANS SAW THAT. "We had time set aside for the third season of Fargo, but we couldn't figure out a believable, necessary, angle to get the Kardashians in that show, so we cancelled it. Maybe at some point on TKST we'll have some episode where the kids watch an episode of Fargo and talk about Ted Danson's toupet... TBD."

UPDATE: Croissant-Badnotes sent an email to our geocities account and wanted some changes made to the post:

hi blogteam

great job! starting to feel FXy. i think just a few changes here and there and it could be something we can all be proud of. =) 

are u married to the title? seems a bit punny to me. your call, but maybe "FX CONTINUES TO BREAK GROUND WITH NEW KARDASHIAN EPIC THINKPIECE ANTHOLOGY" lets see how that feels.  

also, we r going with THE KARDASHIAN'S KOUCH. our market researchers say the k thing really resonates in the flyover states. they referenced a video game death kombat or something. either way, please change the title, asap. the pr teams want this streamlined.   

don't think the them watching you caption is tracking. how about, "its kim! and khloe! and rob! on FX!" let me see what brian thinks, but that seems to be the direction we are looking to go. lets just change it now and see if he thinks its tracking. 

love the graphic! one small change -- can it be a television instead of a triangle, and say fx on the tv instead of kardashians and can the light on the left be millions of eyes and the rainbow on the right be money? thx

lemme know when these are done, need to have brian approve, then ill have notes on his notes, and once you do those will send back to brian before it goes to the lawyers
k thx will be in the hamptons this weekend, starting at 4 today, so lets see if we can fastrack this